I miss my son. It's only been an hour but I miss him. I know as time passes I'll get used to it. I think break ups are a million times harder when there is a child involved. I want to be selfish and keep my son all to myself, I don't want to have to see my x, continually feeling the pain of loosing him added to the heartache of giving up my son for a weekend, but unfortunately I have a conscience. I know letting him go to his dads every fortnight is the right thing to do. I know putting my own heart aside for my son is the selfless act that we sign up to when we choose to be a parent. No matter what the cost to your own heart.
I also co parent with my daughters fathers. We're all friends so this makes things run very smoothly. My eldest spends holidays with her dad and grandma as they're a few hours away and my middle child spends every second weekend with her dad. I'm not going to sugar coat it. Nights like tonight, when you've only spent 2 days away from your child in a whole year, will be hard. Heart wrenching, search through old photos, crying asking yourself why, hard. But trust me, from experience, it does get easier. Just remember who your doing it for, that beautiful blue eyed, blonde haired boy who I know loves his daddy more than the world. Who am I to take that away?
Xxx
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